The Talent You Possess
Author: Kat Soriano
Did you know in my 3 years of competing in hair competitions I’ve received 1 pre qualifying recognition, 1 semi finalist nominations and 4 finalist nominations in creative, updo, styling, avant garde and texture categories? This sounds like I’m bragging, but…. actually… I can’t count the numbers of wins I have… wanna know why? Because that’s a big fat fcking 0…. nada, rien, ZIP!
With each look, a little bit more planning, a lot more money and even more of my heart goes into each Bobby pin, each curl set, each braid, color process, all of it. Every time getting a smidge further…. then.. it happens: The finalist are announced, the winners are released, and someone else is giving the acceptance speech I fantasized about giving…. (I’ve watched Selena enough… if you haven’t… go do that, then finish this article). You have no idea how much my heart hurts during close-ups at the Emmy’s, Grammys, etc of artists when they polite clap as someone else ugly cries their way through their speech. I fcking feel that sht in my bones. Then, when I’m away from private eyes, I drown myself in martinis, eat 3 donuts and sob to my bffl, husband or cat and vow to never compete again *sips martini*.
Then…. my inner dory kicks in (yes, our favorite little blue fish from finding Nemo) and I’m like “ooh, look… NAHA!” And I’m hitting up my photographer, pulling out my sketch book, and half drunkly start sketching out, what may be a new piece of my heart to break.
You see… yess.. I want to win that trophy, be publicly announced the “best of____________” But….. That’s the tunnel vision goal. The vision is based off a dream, a small smidge of inspiration that bloomed into a concept and transitioned into a look. You see my final result, but you never experience the growth the process gave me. Whether it was pulling inspiration from a stained glass window, or the “ah ha!” Moment that came from learning how to explain my mood/vision from my brain to the photog… THAT is the panoramic big picture. That is what I crave… THAT is what WE really compete for… that mutha fckin growth. The ability to look at our entires past, compare it to our current and say “girl… you’ve def grown!!”, “babe, You’re so much better!” And even more so… “dang… I learned SO much!!”. THAT is the competition!
Now… again, don’t get me wrong, imma still ugly cry, order the martini and eat things that my spin instructor will punish me for tomorrow… (I see you BG)…. but my dear friend Dama (@hairbydamaris ) literally pulled at my heart strings when she said
“The thing about art is, no competition can take away the talent you possess.”
And that was soooo fckin real to me.
So babe, whether you’re competing with a hashtag, spending thousands of dollars and strategizing or dming me and asking me where tf to start…. TRY!! Do it! Push yourself to try something new! Elevate your creativity, your craft, your photog skills.. all of it!! Submit for NAHA or BEA’s, add the hashtag, enquire with Charlie Price about his next beauty underground… DO IT!! Because as much as the public announcement feels like the obvious win to add to your IG profile (or apocalyptic heartbreak) … the real win comes with the growth. YOU are better. YOU are the artist. YOU earned it! So take a step back… admire your work… and be fcking proud… because you’re so fcking brave for pushing yourself, trying, doing.. and SUBMITTING!! Push yourself so hard.. that when the win finally comes…. you acknowledge it was just PART of your panoramic win.